Etiology of Farts

or What A Gas!

Photo by Nathan Van de Graaf on Unsplash

Some people fart quite a lot,
 while other folks fart very little.
 My daughter claims no farts at all.
 Etiology is quite the riddle.
 
 Legumes and cruciferous veggies?
 Endobacterial sinks?
 Spices in profusion add to the confusion
 to deduce what is causing our stinks.
 
 My wife claims her farts smell like violets.
 Alas I cannot say the same.
 Weaponized mine would be very deadly,
 only my intestines to blame.
 
 Released in the bath popping into thin air,
 creating a noisome perfume.
 Despite hygiene efforts quite vigorous,
 one inhales harbingers of doom.
 
 Too much red meat causes pollution,
 sulfur stink as our guts try to cope,
 while health drinks, garlic powder, combine
 and conspire to increase human odors’ scope. 
 
 Oh well, what’s the use of complaining?
 This poem itself is a fart.
 Words float in the air to inspire despair,
 hard to end once one gets a good start.
 
 Human beings have so many foibles,
 sterling qualities lost in the mix.
 I’ll try to refrain from my griping,
 to focus on things we can fix.

~ Wry Welwood,
August 2024